Back To Virginia, The Good Ol' Days
by kelseychicago
Summary: So, this story is about random crap that happens when the Flock is at Anne's house. Trust me, it is not actually all about pudding. Seriously. It's not. Set sometime during book 2. The faxness will come later. I promise.
1. PUDDING! It's a hot item, people!

**A/N: This is basically a whole lot of nothing, but it's late and I'm bored, so I'm writing this so I don't go crazy. TOO LATE! Yeah this is just some stuff that went on while The Flock was at Anne Walker's in Virginia. MUCHO FAXNESS!!!! I was craving some pudding and thought it could make a fairly good, immensely random story. Happy birthday world, this is my gift to you. I don't expect anything in return, aside from you greatly appreciated reviews, but that was implied. And no, the whole story is not about lunch foods in plastic cups, just the beginning. There is plenty more randomness to come. DISCLAIMER! I don't own Max Ride… or jello. *tear***

Max's POV

At lunch one day, I was going to sit by some new friends from my English class, but then I noticed that Fang and Iggy had lunch at the same time because we were all in the same grade. I sat down next to Fang and took a bite of my so called "food". Eww.

"Hey, what happened to your new best friend?" asked Fang. He meant J.J.

"I don't know. Purebred humans are boring," I replied. _Yeah, that means you!_ I looked down at Fang's tray and saw that he had two puddings stacked on it. Iggy had two jellos. I examined my own tray and saw that I had one of each. How's that for a balanced lunch?

"F-Nick, did you take Jeff's pudding and switch it with your jello?" Come on people, pudding is a hot item on the school cafeteria scene.

"What? What would make you think that?" Fang asked, his voice drenched with fake confusion.

"Umm, I don't know, maybe because you have two puddings, and he has two jellos."

"Dude, give me back my pudding. You know, it's not nice to pick on the blind kid," Iggy said, annoyed by Fang's latest attempt to mooch food off of him.

"Jeff, I didn't take your pudding! Look," Fang said picking up the two snot-green jellos on Iggy's tray and holding them up in front of him.

"Pudding, jello," he said gesturing to each of the jello cups.

"No, jello, jello," I chimed in. Jello is a funny word. Jello, jello, jello. It sounds funny if you say it enough. Jello, jello, jello. Heh heh.

"Ha. Very funny, Max. Stop lying to Jeff so he can eat his lunch in peace," Fang lied.

"Seriously! If you don't give him back his pudding soon, neither of you will have time to eat anyway!" I looked at the clock. Lunch was almost over. And would anyone care to explain to me why exactly school people think eleven o'clock in the morning is an appropriate time for _lunch?_ Really, it's mind-boggling.

"You know you suck Max," Fang said in defeat.

"Yep, that's my specialty," I replied sarcastically. Fang angrily switched back the pudding and we finished our lunch quickly before going back to our separate classes.

**A/N: YAY! Read on, please. I know it was really short, so I promise to post again soon. Ch. 2 is almost done, I swear. And tell me if you have any other random ideas for me to use! I'll give you credit. And seriously, you do not even know how hard it was to resist the urge to insert an A/N into the story when I used the words 'chimed in' and say "**_**I chimed in with a 'haven't you people ever head of closing the goddamn door?' NO! It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.**_**" Props to Panic! At The Disco. MUCH WOOTNESS! **


	2. Texting in class? Shame on you

**A/N: NEXT CHAPPIE! Yep, this one is about texing in class! WOOT WOOT! Not that I'd ever do a horrible thing like that. Of course not. Max's signature on her text messages is Mxx, and Fang's is fan9. WOOT WOOT! Sorry if you can't understand my text talk.**

Max's POV

I listened to the teacher, who I hadn't bothered to remember her name, lecture us about our "poor behavior", after someone in the class had pantsed some boy in the middle of our history lesson. Ha, ha, he was wearing bright purple underwear. The teacher said we needed to focus on history instead of pranking people. The kid's lame-ass response was that "But it did have to do with history, because it was so epic that it's going down in history!" AS you can imagine, he was the only one who laughed. That was a pathetic comeback. I could've done better. A lot better. But I've had experience.

After awhile, the teacher went back to teaching the lesson and my mind drifted. It's not like I was ever going to need to know about this stuff anyway. A funny vision popped into my head. I was trying to fight off an Eraser, and he had me pinned down. He was about to take me out when I screamed _Wait! Do you know who William Tecumseh Sherman was?_ The Eraser looked completely baffled and got up, rubbing his head. _OH NO! I have no idea! AHHH! The great Maximum Ride has defeated me with her quick-witted knowledge of historical trivia! NOOO! I'm melting! AHHH! _Well, that was an amusing fantasy. I got bored so I got out my fancy new cell phone under my desk so the teacher wouldn't see. Anne had bought us all cell phones, even Angel, in case there was an emergency and we needed help. _Please! _If any of us were in serious trouble, Anne would be, like, the last person I'd go to for help. But it had unlimited texting, so I was content. I texted Fang, making sure not to look suspicious so that the teacher wouldn't take my phone away.

Heyy. Im bord. Txt me

Mxx

A few seconds later, Fang texted me back.

Sup max I hate this class Ig keeps flirtin wit some girl haha

fan9

oh u dnt hav a gf in ur class? Poor fangy

Mxx

Hey im sexy I can get n/e chick in dis class if I wanted

fan9

im soooo sure

Mxx

Wut so ur sayin im not sexy?!?!?!

fan9

ur a asshole

Mxx

Psh! U no u luv me.

fan9

STFU!!!!! No I hate u

Mxx

Wuts dat mean?

fan9

Shut the fuck up

Mxx

Oh da was uncalled 4

fan9

ya but its funnayyy

Mxx

Ill giv u that. Its kinda funy. Don't tell nudge shel say it all da time

fan9

Ya she OMGs and LOLs me a lot

Mxx

Dat gurls got problems

fan9

ya she does

Mxx

Ur face got problems! BURNNNN!

fan9

oh ya I need some ointment 4 dat

Mxx

MUWAHAHAHAHA!

fan9

ur a weirdo

Mxx

ur weirder then me

fan9

am not

Mxx

am 2

fan9

am not

Mxx

Ur face is weirdest

fan9

srsly? Wuts wit da ur face thing?

Mxx

Idk I thot it was funay

fan9

ur face is funny!

Mxx

AHHH! NOOO! U got me. I walked rite in2 dat

fan9

fo shiz

Mxx

Hey u owe me pudding

fan9

nuh uh!

Mxx

Uh huh!

fan9

don't start dis agin

Mxx

Fine then u owe me a coke

fan9

wut evz

Mxx

Heyy max on the way home can we stop da store? I wanna get a cd.

fan9

if dat means I don't owe ya a coke n/e morz sure

Mxx

Sweetness

fan9

"Max?" Oh shit. It was the teacher. She looked at me like I was supposed to answer a question, a question I didn't hear.

"Max?" she asked again.

"Uh… umm… _France?"_ Okay, so it was a lame guess, but come on people, I was under pressure!

"Um, no, sorry. _France_ was not the president during World War II," she said.

"Max, can I see you after class?" she said, and the rest of the class went _oooooh! _Dang it.

After class was over at the end of the day, Mrs. Whatever-her-name-is stopped me in the hallway as I was walking out of the room. I was going to try to sneak out to my locker and pretend I forgot about her telling me to stay.

"Max? About class today. What's going on? I've noticed that you haven't been paying attention much lately. Is there something on your mind? Is there something going on at home?" she asked. Wow. How ironic. Was there anything _not_ going on at home was a better question.

"Um, no. But thanks. Can I go now? My… brothers and sisters are waiting for me. I have to walk them home," I said. I still had trouble calling Fang my brother, because, well, I had kissed him once. Even though he was dying, I still enjoyed it. That sounds mean, doesn't it?

"Max, I was thinking you should talk to the guidance counselor. Your siblings can manage to walk home by themselves, or they can wait for you. Your, umm, Ms. Walker is on her way here."

"You called Anne!" How dare she!?! Who does this teacher think she is?

"Yes, Max. We need to discuss your misbehavior. We need to work through your problems together," she said in a very condescending tone. Ugh.

"Fine. Whatever. Just make it quick. You gave me homework, remember?" I said snidely.

**A/N: Question, me and my friend always argue about this. Is it called **_**pantsing**_** or**_** de-pantsing?**_** Cause I've always thought it was just pantsing. Anyway, R&R!!!**


	3. The Stoner

**A/N: Okay, I know I haven't posted on this in quite a long time, but I've been working really hard on one of my other stories, What If I Lay An Egg?. Check it out? Plz? "I can has a fall out boy plz?"~ a very cute kitten on a Fall Out Boy shirt.**

The teacher led me down the hallway to the guidance office. Outside of the office, the rest of the Flock was waiting in a row of chairs. Fang gave me one of his _what did you do this time_ looks. I stuck my tongue out at him and barged into the office, not waiting to be invited in. There was some old guy sitting behind the desk and Anne was sitting in a chair across from him. She looked disappointed in me. Like I care.

"Hello. You must be Max. Please, sit down. My name is Mr. Stone," said the old dude, gesturing at a chair next to Anne. I sat. I decided I was going to cooperate. For now.

"So, Max. What seems to be the problem?" asked the Stoner. Clever huh?

"There is no problem," I said in kind of a smart-alecky way. I guess cooperation went out the window.

"So why are you here?" Stoner asked. He asks a lot of questions.

"You tell me. Cause honestly, I have no freaking idea."

"Your teacher told me that you weren't paying attention in class. Again."

"So? History is boring. My mind drifted. Sue me," I said.

"Is there something in particular you were thinking about? Are you worried about something?" he asked.

"No," I lied.

"Max, you can be honest with me. I won't judge you," he said.

"People judging me is the least of my problems."

"So, you admit that there is something wrong. What other problems do you have?" asked the Stoner. Wow. He was good at getting answers out of me. I have a feeling I'm not gonna like this dude.

"It's just an expression. I don't have any problems. My life is completely perfect and problem-free," It took everything I had to keep from laughing at that.

"Do I sense a hint of sarcasm?" Jeez! Why won't he stop asking so many questions?

"Wow! You're quick! You must have some kind of sixth sense about these things! Are you hiding a sarcasm detector under your desk? Does it work like _gay-dar_? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'm picking up something from you, Stoner." Sadly, The Stoner did not seem surprised by my general rudeness. I have to say I was disappointed.

"Max, would you feel more compelled to talk to me if your mother wasn't in the room?"

"Anne is _not_ my mother." How dare he!

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed." The Stoner was embarrassed.

"Well, you know what they say about when you ass-ume," I said.

"Ah, of course. Would you like Anne to leave the room?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I'd like her to leave the room. But I still won't talk to you. I'm just not overly fond of her." Am I mean? I like to think of it as self-preservation. No, I'm just mean.

"Anne, I think it would be best if you let me talk to Maxine in private," said The Stoner.

"Oh, _hell no!_ My name in _NOT _Maxine!" I exclaimed, as Anne left the room.

"See, is that the temper that keeps getting you in trouble?"

"I don't have a temper!" I yelled, apparently horribly loudly, because I heard a chorus of giggles from the Flock in the hallway, and downright chortling from Fang. I'll kick his ass when I get off of school grounds. Can't afford another suspension, like I give a crap.

"Max, I just want to help you get to the bottom of your behavioral issues."

"_I don't have any fucking behavioral issues! Leave me the hell alone and let me go home! Unless of course you'd rather I kill you right here! Cause trust me, I'm perfectly capable!"_ I screamed, jumping out of my chair in a mad fit of mega-loathe-ness.

"Max, try and use appropriate language in my office, and please sit back down," he said with a straight face. Wow. He is the first person I've ever met who wasn't affected by my violent, threatening outbursts. Every one else's knees would have been quaking in terror.

"Max, I have been doing this for over twenty years. I can tell when something is bothering someone. You can tell me. It's my job to listen and try to help. Is it a boy problem?"

"Ha. Yeah right. Like I'd talk to_ you_ about _Fang_," I scoffed.

"Fang, huh?" inquired Mr. Stone.

"Wait! I… err… Fang is my dog! Yeah, he uh, he's got doggy leukemia. It's really sad," I mumbled, trying desperately to save myself from humiliation.

"Is this "Fang" in your class? Do you like him?" asked The Stoner, completely disregarding my previous explanation. This guy can see right through me. Luckily though, at school, people thought Fang's name was Nick, so he doesn't actually know who I was talking about. He probably thought I was using 'Fang' as a codename.

"Is that why you don't pay attention in class?" he asked.

"There's a lot of reasons I don't pay attention in class… But yeah, that's kinda one of them," I admitted. Wait. _Why_ exactly am I spilling my guts to this dude?

"Yo, I got to go Stoner," I said as I got up from my chair and walked to the door.

"See you tomorrow?" he asked.

"We'll see."

**A/N: "That hurts it's so funny!" ~ Katie, about me talking about how much Cobra Starship sucks. I'm on the phone right now, by the way. *tear*…. Panic At The Disco is breaking up!! NO!**


End file.
